Up the Down Escalator

There's a hole in the whole

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…when my eyes opened, I realized I was in mid stride. Fear began to choke me as I made my way to the dense fog who’s ghastly arms reached for me. A glance back as I paused brought me through the thick misting cloud into a tropical utopia.

I was suddenly onboard an extravagant seaward vessel parked in the channel. I rubbed my eyes but couldn’t wake up yet. I could smell her perfume.

We walked around briefly before everyone began jumping overboard. It was for pleasure. Diving and splashing. I jumped in.

As my feet cut the water, I caught another hint of her scent. My whole crashed downward into the liquid crystal cove’s bosom.

Her cold fingers jerked me downward. I spun in shock. She mouthed the words “I will always love you..”

As her replacement entered into our new domain, she turned away. Her grasp vanished and found itself dragging that imposter down to the floor through the thick of the weeds.

I watched her die in your clenched hands. She deserved it. And I will always love you too.

Filed under spilled ink dreams spilled words mylife

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That bitter taste, it just won’t fade… It stalks every meal then chases them away. It brings on the numbness, confusion, and sharp stomach pains. My face has lost color and my memories are withering with each rolling wave of that bitter embrace. Am I better off suffering without any chemical aid? Should I keep choking them down until I completely fade away? What will be left of me after medically bleaching my mind?

Filed under spilled ink spilled words chemical imbalance bipolar ptsd mood swings rx medication pills mylife depression memory loss

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when i sleep
i sleep to dream
-dream of fields
-of you and me

wind sweeps low
below our feet
as we float
that’s where we meet

space is cold
we drift away
luna smiles
as cherubs play

stares exchanged
the blue so sweet
sweetest gaze
between the sheets

twist inside
like coiled vines
whispered loves
as time rewinds

we descend
so slow it seems
time to wake
or sleep to dream…


(via aholeinthewhole)